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Father is in the hospital, and i'm pissed!
Topic Started: Dec 14 2015, 12:41 AM (1,190 Views)
cjones636
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My father is in a nursing home. It's been there for several years, and cannot move his arm, leg and his speech isn't that great. I get a call at 11pm telling me my father was on his way to the emergency room. He had a fever of 101, chills and difficulty breathing. Shortly after, the doctor at the emergency room called me. My father almost has pneumonia. He severely dehydrated. His Kidneys are shutting down. Blood Clot in his leg. Urinary track infection. Then i found out that they nursing home has changed him to DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) again, on their own without consulting me.

Two years ago when he went to the hospital, i was informed for the first time that they changed him to DNR. Had a meeting with the nursing home and made sure it was changed back.

My aunt is in a nursing home at a different location. Found out this morning that she has had the same thing happen to her 3 times already! So if u have any loved ones in a nursing home, you better go check and make sure they haven't changed it themselves before it's too late!

So yeah. I'm very fuckin' mad!
Edited by cjones636, Dec 14 2015, 12:44 AM.
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Mythstae
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If your father is still mentally sound enough to make his own medical decisions, it is his right to choose a DNR.

...If your father is NOT mentally sound enough to make those decisions, and YOU are the designated person to make those decisions, and the care facility changed it without your permission... that's frickin' messed up.
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cjones636
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Mythstae
Dec 14 2015, 12:55 AM
If your father is still mentally sound enough to make his own medical decisions, it is his right to choose a DNR.

...If your father is NOT mentally sound enough to make those decisions, and YOU are the designated person to make those decisions, and the care facility changed it without your permission... that's frickin' messed up.
He's not. He can't communicate, or even spell his name and just put lines and dots, And he doesn't want that, as it was talked about many times in the past. The only thing he doesn't want is to be kept alive if he was brain dead. I'm over all of his medical decisions, hell they would even call me to make sure if it was okay to put cream on his arm when he bumped it and guy a cut.
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cjones636
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double post
Edited by cjones636, Dec 14 2015, 09:18 AM.
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cjones636
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Sorry i half asleep as i was woke up telling they are putting my dad on a ventilator.
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Freeman
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The Family Man

Rough stuff. I've never been there, so I have no idea what kind of hardship you are going through. I wish you the best of luck. Seems like the care is sub par to me.
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nwgeo


I have been through this. Hang in there CJ. You are right they can not change his DNR instructions period.

There is a forum that you fill out with your loved one that directs these things. My father wanted the same thing, he wanted recitation but not kept on life support to stay alive.
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68custom


sorry to hear the bad news. nursing homes are generally not good places for our loved ones, but sometimes we have no choice.
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mt999999
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I'm not the type of person that would state to just sue someone over anything, but perhaps your best bet would be to get a lawyer involved in this, to let them know that you are serious. I wouldn't trust a single one of those homes. I've been inside a couple of them before, and it was probably the most depressing place I've been to; ever. They usually reek of urine, are incredibly stale and stuffy, and the folks shuffling around, most in wheel chairs, are practically zombies. I would never allow my parents or grandparents in one of those places, and I'd rather they shoot me than let me go there one day.
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Car Nut
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Sorry to hear about your dad. Is he a medicaid patient? Do you pay the home monthly, or do they just take his social security check every month? Nursing homes in my area are BIG business. They make a lot more $$$ off someone paying cash each month then just accepting the monthly government check. One home quoted me $8500 per mo when I was looking for my mom a couple years ago. Terrible to think, but perhaps that's why people's status (dnr) gets changed. Could all be about the bottom line. NEXT!!!! (Customer with cash please) A lot of the homes are grossly understaffed, and if your loved one can't look out for themselves, they will get shoved off to the side. You really need to be in there yourself, constantly checking on them to make sure they're properly taken care of. Ask me how I know. Been there, done that. Mom lives with us now. Not a great option, but I know she's well taken care of now. Unlike before.
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cjones636
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UPDATE:

Been fighting with these two doctors nearly every day. They would call me everyday and try to convince me to unplug his life support, put him back as DNR and allow him to smother to death from the pneumonia. They went on about quality of life. How he's suffering. And they would go as far as shaming me for not pulling the plug. Went to a meeting the doctor wanted to have with me and brought my grandmother (his ex-mother-in-law). Brought her along with me support, and to keep me from snapping. She was the only one in my family that could calm me down and to keep me from going ape-shit. If i would have went by myself or with anyone else, i would be in jail and i truly believe that.

In this meeting, this doctor went on and on about unplugging him. Shaming me, and even was getting agitated with me to the point the doctor let out a sigh and shook her head. She said at one point, "I can see in your eyes that you love your daddy...", Which i interrupted her and said, "Not only that, you're seeing that demon that i have had locked up for many years trying to break free to rip your throat out. If this was all this meeting was about, you shouldn't have even called me to come to it. You know after many phone calls, you already knew the answer. If there is nothing more to this meeting besides trying to shame me into unplugging my dad, i'm done. I going to visit with my dad now." I got up and left.

Yesterday. Got a phone call from the head nurse that my dad has improved a lot. They said they were going to be removing him from the life support to see how he breathes on his own. I visited today and learnt that he's off life support and that he did very good during his breathing treatment. He's awake and communicating.. They told me that they may not even have to do dialysis now. Fingers crossed and praying that he'll continue to improve..
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ONEHARDHEAD
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Praying for healing and comfort for you both. Merry Christmas!
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dayle1960
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Sometimes I wonder if the doctors and the insurance companies are in cahoots with one another to move people through the system in the shortest amount of time possible. The insurance company calls the doctor and says " unplug this guy because he is costing us a boatload of money". Bet that happens more than people realize.

Glad to hear your pops is getting better. Stick to your guns and don't let the doctors run over you.
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cjones636
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UPDATE: He's coming home Either Tonight or Tomorrow. :) Imagine, they wanted me to pull the plug on him a day or two after he was put on life support. I asked him did he hear me fighting with the doctors when he was out and laughed and said yes. lol
Edited by cjones636, Jan 7 2016, 12:56 PM.
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mt999999
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cjones636
Jan 7 2016, 12:55 PM
UPDATE: He's coming home Either Tonight or Tomorrow. :) Imagine, they wanted me to pull the plug on him a day or two after he was put on life support. I asked him did he hear me fighting with the doctors when he was out and laughed and said yes. lol
Awesome! :)

Make sure to find a better place for him to stay.
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